Drabbles
by insaneandproud
Summary: Drabbles and ideas i've been working on finally put them somewhere useful... i will expand once i have time.
1. Chapter 1

**Drabbles from Boredom**

"CARTER!" barked the man in front of her, "Waaaayyyy too much information!"

"Well you did ask… SIR!" I feel myself replying, sarcasm dripping from every syllable. Opps when did that start happening? "I only did what any other woman would have done!"

"Hey! Sarcasm is my area… your's is to be as big a smartass as possible" he replied, "and what do you mean 'I only did what any other woman would have done?' I've never seen… let alone seen a woman do… that!"

How did this happen? We used to be such good friends… lately we just keep snapping at each other and making the whole team uncomfortable. Its both our faults really but ugh… if he didn't make me so mad I wouldn't be snarling at him at this moment. I can already feel the retort coming before I can stop it.

"Well being the smartass that I am its only natural that I react that way! It is after all my JOB!"

"What the hell is wrong with you… you're making the team and ME look like an idiot."

"With all due respect sir… you do that on your own." Ouch… I think that one actually hurt… damn… I'm being such a bitch at the moment.

"Well it's good to finally hear a honest opinion for once…" Ok that was uncalled for, I'm always frigging honest with him and the team except you know with… oh. Oh no… he did not just bring my love life into it…

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?"

He seems to deflate at that. I guess he wasn't expecting me to confront him on it.

"Carter… ah crap, just forget it." damn, this has gone from a damn argument about the stupid mission… to something we don't EVER acknowledge exists.

"Ok." I breathe. No sense going somewhere neither of us can really go. "I'm sorry sir. I didn't realise that my behaviour…"

"Carter, no… it's not your fault. Lets say that you were right, as usual." I smile at that and he does that half smile thing that seems to make my insides squirm (just a little). "And you go about fixing this doohickey-thing while I go find out why Daniel's disappeared again…"

Its his way at apologising and I'm not one to refuse one from a man that obviously finds it hard to admit he's wrong. I nod "Yes sir. I think he's hiding in the infirmary."

He nods and saunters out of my lab with his hands in his pockets. Ok so neither of us is really ok with the way things are at the moment but I think we're gonna make it.


	2. Chapter 2

She was screaming.

So loud that it almost burst my ear drums, the sound tore at my insides making my heart freeze and my mind numb.

It wasn't working – the torture. If it was, I would have cracked earlier. But her screams keep me quiet for once. The bastards won't touch me, won't hurt me. They know I can take it. They won't kill me either. They need me.

They know if I die. I take the secrets to the grave


	3. Chapter 3

_That kiss, oh… my… god! It wasn't long or hell… even that passionate but whoa!_

_Oh hell who am I kidding? I think it could've powered the damn Stargate. I didn't mean for it happen. Neither of us did. I just turned and then poof… making out like a couple of teenagers. Oh but holy Hannah was it goooooddd. I just couldn't help it. I mean… can you blame me if you were in my position? It's been what? At least a while since we last did something 'under the influence of alien technology'… I think the last time we did anything was when he hugged me when my dad died… and that's not really enough for anyone is it?_

I smile at that memory... our first proper kiss... you know without the threat of regs or aliens... it was fantastic. Everything I had been wondering about for years, yet there was always this... feeling underneath it all. The first few months of a relationship are suppose to be the learning curve... we knew it all already. So it should have been a little easier to slide from friends to 'that something more we'd always wanted.

So to say that I was unsurprised by our relationship at first would be a bit of a lie. Sure my expectations were large. Think about it from our points of view, we were waiting, what… a decade for this? But to say it's not worth it, would be wrong on all kind of levels. Because it is. Sure we've had our problems and ok everyone worries about the first date... but thats what relationships are all about.

We've had to fight tooth and nail for this relationship, and I'm glad it made it seem that much more important to both of us. I think neither of us would still be in it if we hadn't, not that I think we would've given up on it, but I think that we wouldn't have been as strong as we are now.

The first couple of months we basically spent alternating between trying to see each and doing our jobs (me saving the universe) but I do remember our first date. And that's something I'm not going into right now cos I'll just wander off into dream land and you can kiss goodbye to the conversation.

But yeah... I miss him. Plain and simple, I hadn't really wanted to go but I didn't exactly want to pass up an oppertunity like this. He didn't either, he understood my passion for the stars, the urge to do whats right and of course for science. I didn't want to give up on what we had, all these years I've planned my way (well sort of). I followed the plan through High School, College, The Academy and now The SGC.

He really wasn't something I planned on walking slap-bang into the middle of my life. Neither was Atlantis.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thanks everyone for all your hits i'm really proud I didn't think I'd get any! Reviews are always welcome I love constructive criticism it helps me grow lol :)**

The hardest thing in life is to love someone. Well this is my philosophy and a damned good one at that.

I love... loved someone, so much and now that he's gone I struggle to keep myself going anymore. I have reasons to continue living... one very big one in particular but even with them. It's hard. Too hard sometimes and I, just every so often, wonder why I keep doing it. Doubt myself and wonder if there really is any point. I know that eventually she will have to carry on without me, after all I can't live forever but I also know that its too soon. That she's not ready yet to be left on her own, in a world as hard and tough as this one. She's too young, too innocent to deal with something as major as my death.

I fear for that day. Sometimes, for her small precious world being engulfed by the cold darkness of reality. It happened to me when my mother died in that God-awful car accident and I hate myself for thinking about putting her into the exact same position. Life is cruel; sure, but have you had to ever look into the gorgeous brown eyes of a child and seen pure unadulterated trust being shone back at you. I don't know if I'm selfish enough to take that from her.

She has no knowledge, no idea of who her father is. This is something I feel guilt for everyday. I wish I had the strength to sit her down and tell her all the magnificent things he's done for her, for the world. But I can't because remembering what I've lost isn't something I want to be reminded of. Daniel tells me that it might help with the grieving process - you know getting everything out into the open... but some of me wants to keep them to myself - to keep the little bits of him left and savour them. Maybe I could get Daniel or Teal'c to tell her what kind of man her dad was. What he did to prove his point. Our point, everything we've fought for.

I hate him sometimes. For leaving me here on my own... for forcing me to be one of the lost souls who get left behind and have to cope with a world without them in it. He doesn't know that it's cold, dark and dead without him here. Stealing my jello... playing with the things in my lab... giving me strength everyday to do what we were put here to do. I miss him so God damn much and its killing every piece of me. I wait for the darkness of night where my dreams are filled with whispers and kisses... memories of the short time we finally got together.

Love... sometimes I wonder if it's worth the pain, especially after they're gone.


	5. Chapter 5

The blood pooled over the red cherry wood table causing people to back away slightly as it dripped over the edges onto the dull grey carpet. As much as they wanted to rush forward and help the injured solider, the sight of the crimson liquid pulled them into a hypnotic stare. The blue BDU's turned into a slick purple by the blood as it gushed profusely from the wound in her chest as she struggled to sit up and get out of the pool that massed around her. It was like a rain wreck everyone wanted to rush forward and help the poor woman as she slipped in her own blood, but found that all they could do was stare and admire her determination to keep going. They watched in awe as she fought her dying body and got on her hands and knees.

She groaned as her holding slipped yet again and she slammed into the table with incredible force. Her shaky breaths were all that could be heard echoing around the room. As she turned onto her back everyone could see the holes where the bullets had ripped through her regulation issued black t-shirt. Her breaths were becoming shorter now and raspy as she struggled to keep going – she was dying. Still no-one rushed to her aid as she suddenly sat up in a single shot and struggled onto her feet. She looked around in a daze before bending down and picking up a black object out of the pool at her feet, as she straightened up the object morphed into the unmistakable shape of a radio. She coughed and spat a mouthful of coppery liquid onto the table top, wincing as it brought to life the pain of her wounds. As she flicked it on, a loud crackling filled the room and she said one word before shaking her softly and started to sway on the spot.

Before she collapsed once again two arms appeared from no where and caught her securely in his arms. His entrance seconds before had gone unnoticed as the woman maintained her position as star attraction. His eyes watched everyone in the room as he lowered her gently onto the table top, picking up her crackling radio he called for aid, his voice demanding and urgent. They felt for him as the woman spoke to him softly, strong unrelenting emotions expressed with simple gestures and words. She would leave soon, they could feel it growing and opened they're arms in anticipation.

Soon she would join them, just as they had done, they could wait a little while longer as she fought the coldness and the dark. They continued they're silent watch as she tried and failed to say all that was felt, watched as more people came running to pull her away from the inevitable and waited with open arms and hearts as she lost the fight and embraced the cold darkness.


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok a uick appology for the angst but I've had a hard time lately and it had to go somewhere... and for all those people that aren't j/s shippers s****orry but I am one and i'm sorry if it irrates you. 10 years allows me to play with characters that don't belong to me… I'm truly sorry if you don't agree and feel its over played. I'll try to minimise it from now on... **

**Ps please don't feel that I'll shun you for your opinion, I treasure everyone's point of view because I need t know where I need to grow… thanks so much for everyone's advice and opinion I LOVE IT lol :)**

SG-1 was on the war path, with everything and anyone that crossed their path. This had a tendency of happening when people had died, missions were never ending, down-time was cancelled and tempers were flaring. As a result most personal in the SGC tended to hide when times like these… (This in all honestly was very rare, to the point of once every 4 years). So when people were caught in the middle of one of their raves, hissy fits, tantrums and rude manners they tended to ignore it and pray that they had an excuse to escape it, because after all, everyone's entitled to a bad day once in a while. Besides after 24 hours usually everything had blown over and everything would go back to normal for the next few years.

Unfortunately this time, they weren't so lucky. There was no way to escape the said bad cloud that had settled over the leading team which had lead to Colonel O'Neill insulting General Hammond and him and the rest of SG-1 being thrown out of the mountain for 72 hours. So when people found out that the team had actually left said mountain without even so much as a word against it, the truth of how bad things were, was realised with surprised.

SG-1 in its entirety had never as a collective all left the base at the same time. There had always been someone left behind (usually major Carter). So when people heard that within 20 minutes of the order that Teal'c had run off through the Stargate to see his son, Daniel had disappeared off to some dig in Southern America and the Colonel and Major left in their respected vehicles, a sigh of relief was expressed before questions were asked about the hullabaloo. Usual rumours of team disputes flew through the gossip mill before they were quietened by Doctor Fraiser stepped in and silenced them and anything else flying round. Truth to be told even she doesn't know what them two got up to during times like these, and deep down she wants it to be kept that way.

There has only ever been one way of blowing off steam and that's to jump on the back of an Indian bike and drive your brains out. You never thought this could be a release until your CO mentioned once on a team night during a hockey match, and you sure as hell didn't think that'd you'd be invited to join him on the days when everything gets to you. This week has been one of hose weeks. We all saw it coming. Daniel's been fighting the 30 year anniversary of his parent's death, Teal'c's been missing his son and the recent death of his wife has eaten at him. Sir's excuse… I knew it was coming, the very rare once in a while where he gives up fighting against the nightmares and crap in his past and embraces the sorrow, the shame and the unrelenting grief of the dead.

The first time it happened I dragged his ass out of his cabin and into the nearest pub and we both got plastered together – I had been trying to deal with dad's cancer bombshell and he had, had enough of the nightmares. Ever since then it become a tradition. Although most of the time, it's not usually this bad.

We both end up on this dirt track up in the mountains where all the young hotshots are showing off their skills and trying to 'up their rep'. Me and sir wipe the floor with their asses, its always amusing to watch their jaws hit the floor when we remove our helmets. We're just they're for the freedom and my God is it glorious. It's not usual for us to screw the rules (outside of saving the world) but on days like these… it's the only way to go. I've never seen someone without fear doing the shit he does when he lets go, I suppose its natural this is the only kind of freedom he gets outside of work and life. Sometimes you just have to explode instead of keeping it to yourself and eventually get someone killed.

Sometimes I really hate my job… it's not the death, or the orders or even doing what we believe is wrong. It's the fact that we're never allowed to screw up, to get angry… to feel, and when we do people look at us with expressions of 'it's ok we know you're just having a bad time… you'll be fine in a few days'.

Well what if I don't want to be fine in a few days. What if I want to get angry of the stupidity of some ass in a leather chair that cost the lives of good soldiers? Good, honest people who didn't deserve to be screwed over by their own 'people'. That's what I hate. The fact that I know why they died and I don't believe that it was right.

Thank Christ someone else also believes in that as well, and I'm gad I call them team-mates. I swear without them I'd have gone either insane or quit the force. Sure we have days when all we want to do is kill each other but hell that's the same with all families. We look out for each other. Even if that means I have to drag sir's ass out of his cabin and help him through the days when the nightmares are too much to handle, have to sit with Teal'c for 15 hours straight while he struggles to understand The Matrix on repeat, or even help Daniel sort his rock collection out (ok too much time with the colonel) because it's the only way he can move on from the death of his mentor. I do it because I care and because I know that when I'm having an equally crappy moment… Daniel will bring me one of his 'special' coffees from his private stash and listen to me rant about a fellow scientist, Teal'c will spar with me until I drop… and sir will do whatever it takes to make sure his second-in-command is 'back to confusing the hell out of him'.


	7. Chapter 7

The sun's were slowly setting, casting warm honey glows of caramel and treacle over the cooling desert. The view was spectacular, nothing compared to the sights he had seen during his many digs at home. Home; that was something he had never really felt back on earth… but here on Abydos... he felt like he belong. It was definitely a feeling he was gonna like getting used to. The last of the day's sunshine caught his attention as it slipped behind the dune casting the valley and the pyramid behind him in dark shadows. The irony of the situation was not lost on him. He was in the dark… about a lot of things on this planet but he didn't care, it was all new and exciting. His hair brushed into his eyes as the nights gentle breeze blew teasingly across his body. His new light weight attire did nothing to ward against the chill that he could feel coming as the last heat of the day cooled quickly in the dark. He shivered as a sly wisp of wind slid across his neck and down his spine. It was getting late and he knew that tonight's celebrations would eventually miss their 'hero'. He sure as hell didn't fell like a hero but he couldn't blame them for celebrating the death of Ra. That bastard deserved the nuking he got. He didn't feel like going back just yet, even with the treat of getting caught in a sandstorm loomed above his head, the desert held a hypnotic gaze over him.

A gentle embrace enveloped hi from behind and he welcomed the warmth it brought. As the body pulled him closer he relaxed into the love he felt behind the gesture and gently rubbed her arms in a loving matter. Shar'ai was a gift in more ways than one. He turned from the desert and stared into the understanding eyes of his wife. Wife… that felt good to say… he pulled her closer and quickly closed the gap between them, capturing her lips into a gentle kiss that he felt down to his toes and a tingling in his spine. He pulled away briefly to see a mischievous twinkle in her eyes before she slipped out his arms and back into the village. A sudden wave of lust and passion hit him knocking the air out of his lungs and turning his legs to jelly. He glanced at the desert one last time before following her footprints in to the sand back to the place he could finally call home.


End file.
